Younger Brother Receives Award for Attending Older Sister’s Entire Basketball Season

By Nat Hrvatin

ALBANY, N.Y. — Eleven-year-old Joey Coleman was awarded the Most Valuable Spectator Award (MVS) Tuesday night, after enduring all twelve games in his older sister’s basketball season with minimal complaining.

Joey chalked up his MVS status to being too young to stay at home alone.

While putting on her much-needed kneepads, Joey’s older sister, Elizabeth commented, “Yeah, I guess it’s nice or whatever. He mostly stares at his iPad the entire time, so I don’t get why he’s being rewarded.”

Joey paused a YouTube video titled, “Gnarly Monster Truck FAILS” to witness Elizabeth tripping over her own shoelaces. 

After laughing at her, he turned to his mother, Peggy Coleman, and begged for concession stand money.

“Ugh, I am so bored. Can I please have a dollar for Funyuns? Pretty, pretty please with a cherry on top? I promise I’ll stop telling Elizabeth she sucks at basketball.”

Peggy shushed Joey and handed him a couple of loose hard candies she found at the bottom of her purse.

“It warms a mother’s heart to see her youngest supporting his big sister. Although, I’d like to know, where’s my award?” Peggy said when reached for comment. “Even though my daughter’s team has lost every single game and she spends most of her playing time on the ground, I’ve been here, too.”

Youth Basketball Organizer, Paul Roberts, shared his reason for selecting Joey as this year’s MVS.

“He clearly doesn’t enjoy being here, but neither does anyone else. Half of the stands consist of siblings dragged here against their will,” Roberts said. “Guess I felt sorry that the kid’s forced to watch his sister flail around the court like a soggy spaghetti noodle.”

Instead of a trophy, Roberts presented Joey with a half-eaten bag of Funyuns that he found abandoned on the bleachers.

When asked if she had plans to reciprocate Joey’s effort by attending his games this upcoming baseball season, Elizabeth responded, “Nah.”