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Woman Swimming Laps at Local Pool Just Misses Katie Ledecky’s Time by 45 Minutes

SO CLOSE!

Watch out for the noodles.

By Lauren Grimaldi

CHICAGO – Suburban woman Gillian Moore made history this week at her local LA Fitness when she swam a mile in a little over an hour, just missing Olympic gold medalist Katie Ledecky’s time by about 45 minutes.

When asked about her amazing accomplishment, Moore admitted it wasn’t as easy as it all looked with several obstacles in her way, including avoiding the unidentifiable substance at the bottom of her lane that she’s totally sure was not hazardous waste.

“It was a bit dicey there for a minute when the water aerobics class started, but I pulled through,” said Moore. “Those pool noodles can really get in the way.”

The triumph did not go unnoticed by fellow swimmers, who were reportedly in awe of what they’d just seen, with some even waking up from accidentally falling asleep in the hot tub to share their thoughts.

“Huh, wait, what happened? Did I almost drown?” said one person who preferred to remain anonymous. “Did you really have to wake me up just for this?”

However, not all were impressed with Moore or Ledecky’s incredible aquatic accomplishments.

“I could have beaten both of them,” said Jason Smith, who was found yelling by the weight room upstairs far away from the pool. “I’ve never swam a day in my life, but I’m sure it can’t be that hard. I’d like to see Katie Ledecky come here and try lifting these 100-pound dumbells like I do.”

Despite the loss, Moore has remained a good sport, congratulating the most decorated woman in Olympic history for now, though hinting that the two may be developing a bit of a rivalry.

“I’d like to thank Katie for being such a great competitor. I think with just a few more trainings, I can totally bridge the gap between our times and really give her a run for her money next time around,” said Moore. “I’m coming for you, Los Angeles!”

At press time, Ledecky had yet to comment because she was too busy already being done with her 1500M swim in the 2028 Olympics.

End of the Bench will have more on this story after we get another lap in.

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Believe me, bro.

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