Urban Meyer Admits He Kicks Himself for Letting Joe Burrow Transfer

By James Kineen

COLUMBUS, OHIO - As Ohio's own Joe Burrow leads the Cincinnati Bengals to the Super Bowl, many Buckeyes fans are wondering what might have been had the Heisman winner remained at Ohio State rather than transferred to LSU.

"I kick myself about it every day" the former Buckeye and current bitter ex-Jaguars head coach recently acknowledged, while not spending time with his family.

"No, literally. I pull my Air Monarch back, say 'hey dipshit, let's not misevaluate talent again' and I kick myself in the back of the leg. It's a really effective motivation tool," Meyer added. 

After smirking when questioned if the painful self-torture may affect his heart health, Meyer went on to note that Ohio State still won many games with Dwayne Haskins under center, though a loss to Purdue destroyed their National Championship aspirations. 

Could the team have gone all the way with Burrow? Meyer believes they might have, which is why he maintains his rigid daily flogging routine.

"Sometimes being a leader means recognizing your mistakes. We should have started Joe instead of Dwayne," he said. "When I was a Florida, we should have made Cam [Newton] the backup over John Brantley. We got those wrong, so every day I wake up, kick myself and get back to the grind."

It was unclear if "the grind" was a metaphor for constant hard work or Meyer seductively gyrating on a young woman.

Still, as he awaits his return to coaching, Meyer insists he'll be rooting for his once prized recruit to win the big game.

"If people want to say Urban Meyer's biggest mistake was letting Joe Burrow go to LSU, I think that's fair. I mean, I guess there were some murderers, racists, thieves, and domestic abusers, I enabled. But Joe Burrow, yeah, that's the one I'm always kicking myself about."