UPS Driver Throws 87-Yard Hail Mary to Complete Delivery With Two Minutes Left in Estimated Arrival

By Brisa Sylvestre

BOSTON - In a last-ditch effort to deliver a package on time just before Christmas, UPS driver Jimmy Fitzgerald threw an 87-yard hail mary to deliver a box to customer Tina Smith’s doorstep just before the estimated arrival time hit zero minutes, sources tell End of the Bench.

“I was tracking the package on my phone and started to lose hope that it was going to arrive on time. Then, out of nowhere, a box came soaring towards my house from almost a football field away,” said Tina Smith watching a replay of her package smash off her front door. “I’m most likely going to have to reorder this ceremonial urn for my recently deceased grandfather, but kudos to the UPS guy for the effort.”

When reached for comment, Fitzgerald was in high spirits despite having just destroyed something so sacred to save mere seconds.

“When I came down the street and saw the clock closing in, I knew I had no other option. It was do or die. I pulled the truck up on someone’s lawn, got the package out, and whispered ‘godspeed’ before launching it towards her house,” Fitzgerald said while dumping a Gatorade over his head. “It’s moments like this where the champion within us is forged, you know what I mean? It’s what [Tom] Brady would have done.”

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Tina’s next-door neighbor, Krissy Winters, was outside raking her lawn when the throw was made.

“The box took off like a torpedo towards Tina’s house, I felt like I was watching the Superbowl. I even dropped my rake and started cheering ‘UPS,’” Winters said. “Then BAM, the box smashed into Tina’s front door and was completely crushed on impact. It was wicked awesome.”

At press time, Fitzgerald was seen doing a celebratory dance before hopping back into his vehicle and driving down the street to launch another package into the abyss, while Tina attempted to pull the remains of her grandfather’s urn out of the bushes.

End of the Bench will have more on this story as soon as our package arrives.

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