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Trump Trades United States to Russia for Democracy, Cash Considerations
Art of the Trade.
Details of the trade were not disclosed and then shoved out a window.
WASHINGTON — In a geopolitical move that stunned analysts and citizens alike, President Donald Trump announced Wednesday that he has brokered a deal trading the United States to Russia in exchange for "a brand-new democracy" and an undisclosed sum of cash considerations.
“This is the greatest deal in history—nobody’s ever seen anything like it, not even me, and I can see everything,” Trump said during a press conference held at Mar-a-Lago. “We’re talking big-league democracy, folks. And the cash? Tremendous. Believe me.”
Details of the agreement remain murky, but Kremlin officials confirmed the acquisition, with Russian President Vladimir Putin calling it “a mutually beneficial transaction.” Insiders say the new democracy, described as “state-of-the-art,” includes features like pre-determined election results and heavily restricted press freedoms.
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