The NFL Draft vs. The Military Draft

By Joe Matheson

The NFL Draft begins on Thursday, an event where many young men's lives are changed forever. However, this should NOT be confused with the US Military Draft, which also changed many young men's lives forever. We made an effort to distinguish the two.

Military Draft: Young men chosen by powers-that-be are forced to join different squadrons against their will. 

NFL Draft: Young men chosen by powers-that-be are forced to join different teams that haven't made the playoffs in a decade against their will.

Military Draft: All American men aged 18 and up are required to register, but those who aren't physically fit often don't make it. 

NFL Draft: All American men who are three years out of high school are eligible to register, but those who aren't physically fit often don't make it.

Military Draft: Young men from California and Texas are whisked away to war-torn countries like Vietnam.

NFL Draft: Young men from California and Texas are whisked away to war-torn cities like Detroit.

Military Draft: You are provided a weapon.

NFL Draft: You are provided a helmet which some have used as a weapon.

Military Draft: Parents are distraught when their son is selected

NFL Draft: Parents are distraught when their son is selected by the Texans.

Military Draft: It destroys thousands of lives.

NFL Draft: It destroys thousands of fans' lives.

Military Draft: Draftees risk life and limb as their commanders sit safely on the sidelines and billionaires reap more funds.

NFL Draft: Draftees risk life and limb as their coaches sit safely on the sidelines and billionaires reap more funds.

Military Draft: Retirees will go on to suffer from head trauma, PTSD, and other mental health issues that their employer will not provide adequate support for despite the massive profits.

NFL Draft: Retirees will go on to suffer from head trauma, PTSD, and other mental health issues that their employer will not provide adequate support for despite the massive profits.

Military Draft: Thousands of fans unconditionally cheer you on every Sunday when you walk out onto the field. 

NFL Draft: Thousands of fans unconditionally cheer you on every Sunday when you walk out onto the field unless you take a knee in protest.