Steph Curry Misses Team Bus to Sacramento, Goes 8/12 from Deep

By William Vaillancourt

OAKLAND - Stephen Curry was mistakenly left behind by the team bus before tonight’s match-up against the Kings in Sacramento, yet the Golden State Warriors guard still managed to knock down eight threes in the game while on the sidewalk outside San Francisco’s Chase Center.

The historic playoff performance, which commentators have said makes Curry the de facto CEO of Dude Perfect, might not have been if it weren’t for Curry getting distracted at his locker at pick-up time.

“I was looking at memes about all the other things that the guys on the Timberwolves like to punch beside each other and walls,” Curry told reporters postgame, “like the flu, humidity, and the internet.”

Head coach Steve Kerr recalled that once the game began, the most pressing challenge was finding a way to get the ball to the league’s most prolific three-point shooter, who was open 85 miles away.

“I had never faced an obstacle like that my entire coaching and playing career—having to build an offense around a guy playing from a different city,” Kerr said. “But at halftime, it hit me. I told the guys that whoever has the ball should click their heels together three times while spinning the ball on their finger and say, ‘There’s no place like home.’ And what do you know, Klay was down in the post on our first possession back and did exactly that, kicking it all the way out to Steph who knocked it down. And guess what? He didn’t even watch it go in, it was that pure.”

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As for the Kings, perhaps their fate in Game 1 was sealed when no one answered coach Mike Brown during a third-quarter timeout when he asked, “Who’s got Steph?”

If the Warriors advance to the Western Conference semis and end up facing Memphis, ESPN’s Stephen A. Smith argued it would be an “atrocious” mistake for the Grizzlies to not review tape (captured via satellite) of Curry’s performance to make some adjustments. 

“A zone defense? Nah, nah, nah. Not gonna cut it,” Smith said in a video posted on Twitter. “They better figure out a time zone defense if they want any chance at all.”

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