Steph Curry Accused of Illegally Using The Force During NBA Playoffs

By Dave Henry

SAN FRANCISCO - Golden State Warriors star Steph Curry has been accused by the Sacramento Kings of illegally using The Force in the Warriors' game 7 win over the Kings in the Western Conference playoff matchup Sunday.

Curry, a practicing Jedi, was observed directing the basketball into the hoop with his wizardry many, many times, allegedly using his Jedi powers, as he scored 50 points in the decisive win.

"That's just not normal," said Kings coach Mike Brown. "He was making the ball go into the hoop from ridiculous angles, with incredible accuracy. The Force is the only way he could have done that."

League rules expressly forbid the use of The Force or any other forms of mind control during games. 

The penalty is a one-game suspension for the first use of The Force, and if he uses it again, he will be suspended for the rest of the season.

"There is no question in my mind that The Force made us lose," said Kings guard Malik Monk. "I know he's a Jedi. There is a video of him on Mos Eisley from last summer, hanging out with other known Jedis at this seedy cantina -- wearing a freakin' robe, no less, and wielding a lightsaber."

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Curry calmly denied the accusations when reached for comment, even going so far as to call NBA Commissioner Adam Silver to tell him there is no need to pursue this claim any further.

“You don't need to investigate me,” Curry said. “I’m not the NBA player you’re looking for. I can go about my business.”

Silver released a statement shortly thereafter saying the league was dropping the case and not pursuing an investigation.

"He's not the NBA player we're looking for," said the commissioner. "He can go about his business."

This is not the first time a Higher Power has been accused of tampering in a sporting event. In 842 BC, Hercules disguised himself as a horse and won the Greek Open chariot race.

Curry and the Warriors face the Lakers in round two of the NBA playoffs.

*Editor’s Note*

Curry’s use of The Force was defeated by The Brow in Game 1 of the Western Conference Semi-Finals.

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