Small College Bowl Game Sponsored by “Craig”

By Devin Wallace

As the college football bowl season gets underway, fans have the opportunity to tune into classic matchups in some of the most iconic bowl games of the year, like the Rose Bowl and the Sugar Bowl. Fans will also have the chance to see Northern Vermont College and Kentucky Technical University play in a new bowl game sponsored by some guy named Craig.

“We’re proud to have bowl games representing our sport’s greatest rivalries, our nation’s biggest companies, and bored single guys with a little bit of walking around money,” said NCAA President Mark Emmert, while DMing high school Facebook friends with “a great sponsorship opportunity.”

Other NCAA representatives were outraged at criticism that this is a cash-grab by college football programs.

“How dare people accuse us of being greedy, just because we’ll take thirty-seven bucks from any rando with a Venmo to slap his flabby face on a hastily-created bowl game between two schools who didn’t realize they had football teams,” said NCAA Marketing Chief Dale Britch, while tucking a wad of singles into his shoe. “It’s an affront to the NCAA and to Freg or Craig or whatever his name is.”

Players from NVC and KTU seemed happy to earn a spot to any bowl game.

“Sure, it’s not the College Football playoff, it’s not a famous bowl game, and I’m pretty sure we’re playing in a K-Mart parking lot,” said KTU quarterback Jack Davies. “But we’re going to play hard for all four quarters, and then also the fifth quarter, which is apparently something called Craig Time where you earn Craig Points you spend at the Craig Store. I don’t know who Craig is, but no way we’re taking a loss during Craig Time.”

Reports indicate the NCAA was squeezing televised coverage of the game in-between the “MyPillow Bowl” and the “Sponsor’s Name Here” Bowl.