Rory McIlroy Admits He and Caddie Harry Diamond Switched Places for a Bit There to See What Would Happen

By Miles-Erik Bell

AUGUSTA, Ga.—In Rory McIlroy’s first Masters victory Sunday, things were closer than they should’ve been, especially after he and caddy Harry Diamond snuck behind some trees, switched clothes, and pretended to be each other for a few holes.

“We wanted to see what it was like,” said Diamond. “You know, he’s always kind of the one leading the charge, and I kinda do the grunt work, and we just thought, ’Hey, I think we’ve got this in the bag, why don’t you carry it?’”

“Do you think anyone will notice?” giggled McIlroy, struggling to remove his shirt.

“I think I’ve been watching you long enough to know your mannerisms,” said Harry Diamond, missing an easily makeable putt and losing their four-stroke lead over a period of two holes.

There was growing suspicion after some hawk-eyed fans noticed McIlroy couldn’t figure out which pocket to store the ball marker.

“You know, I’ve heard a people say that a lot of these caddies are great golfers themselves, and would like to see them compete, but what they don’t realize is that most professional golfers haven’t got a fucking clue what caddies even do. Still, I think Rory did a pretty good job out there wearing that deflated Michelin-man jumpsuit,” said Diamond.

“People watching don’t realize that most of those long drives were actually me,” said Diamond, indicating he would be happy to share a fair portion with Rory for being a helpful little sidekick on the day's final pairing.

When Bryson DeChambeau realized what was happening, he wanted in on the goofy hijinks, but was distraught when he found out that the white jumpsuits were not one uniform size.

Golfers work side-by-side with caddies and develop close relationships over the years, but only one of them enjoys the spotlight.

“It was like that scene in Talladega Nights,” explained Rory, “where Ricky Bobby agrees to slingshot in his teammate so he can win one. I just thought it would be a nice, great moment for the little fella.”

Augusta National officials were reportedly outraged at the little switcheroo ski, especially after they discovered that the photo taken in the Green Jacket was not of Rory McIlroy but of Harry Diamond.

End Of The Bench will have more from this once we’re unbanned from Augusta.

Related stories: