Report: Teams Waiting to See Ohtani's Black Friday Discount Before Making Offer

By Kyle Duggan

LOS ANGELES — Representatives from multiple teams have decided to hold off on making a preliminary offer to MLB superstar Shohei Ohtani until he reveals the discounts he will offer on Black Friday, sources tell End of the Bench.

“The wait is the hardest part,” said Los Angeles Dodgers President of Baseball Operations Andrew Friedman. “I’ve never been any good at that. If you’ve already made up your mind to buy something, why sit around hoping that the price goes down? My wife gets annoyed with me because I always make a bunch of Amazon orders right before Prime Day. I just can’t help myself!”

Other front-office executives were more skeptical of the value offered by post-Thanksgiving deals.

“The quality of product offered for these types of promotions is always suspect,” said Brian Cashman, vice president and general manager of the New York Yankees. “I mean, we’ve seen it before. Ohtani got hurt this year. If we sign him on Black Friday, it’s more likely than not that he’ll be injured again at some point. I don’t care what the advanced analytics say: it’s too much of a risk.”

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The two-time American League MVP played coy when reached for comment, giving only vague hints of the discounts he might offer.

“Maybe I’ll do a buy-one, get-one deal with Yamamoto-san,” said Ohtani through an interpreter, referring to the Japanese pitching phenom who is set to become a free agent next month. “Or maybe I could do flash sales throughout the day to really keep teams guessing. I should probably require teams to sign up for a credit card in order to get the deal. If I’m going to end up on another bottom-feeding franchise, I should at least be able to make some extra money on the side.”

At press time, dozens of MLB front office executives were seen camped out in front of Ohtani’s modest Los Angeles apartment, ready to storm in as soon as the doors opened Friday morning.

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