Report: Dad Resisting Urge to Say "There's Nothing Better Than Being at the Ballpark"

ST. LOUIS - Local resident and father of three Dan Taylor is reportedly “struggling” to keep himself from announcing to his family that “there’s nothing better than being at the ballpark,” sources tell End of the Bench.

“I mean you can just tell how happy and proud of being a dad he is right now, there’s no way he’s not at least thinking it,” a stadium source tells EOTB. “A healthy, smiling family sitting together at the ballpark on a beautiful spring evening enjoying each other’s company? In this political and socio-economic climate? He’s probably ready to scream it from the top of the Arch.”

The source also revealed that Taylor, a department store manager and lifetime Cardinals fan, was at his first Major League Baseball game since 2019 when the COVID-19 pandemic halted large crowds and in-person events.

“This guy has been waiting three years for this moment,” the source added. “If he doesn’t let it out soon, he’s going to have a fucking stroke.”

Video surveillance last showed Taylor heading down to the restroom with a large smile on his face, despite spilling nacho cheese on both his team polo (which also happens to be his dressiest shirt) and white New Balance sneakers.