Red Sox Fan Reveals Best Stadium for Shouting Racist Chants

By Divyansh Kulshrestha

BOSTON - Longtime Red Sox fan Mike Johnson has revealed that Wrigley Field, home of the Chicago Cubs, had given him the best ballpark experience as a racist fan.

“As a lifelong Sox fan, I’ve visited a lot of stadiums to see them play,” said Johnson, “But no other place has given me as much pleasure to shout the N-word at the top of my lungs like Wrigley.”

Sources tell End of the Bench that Johnson, who recently visited Chicago when the team took on the Cubs last week, was warming himself up as soon as the announcer had finished singing ‘Take Me Out to the Ball Game.’ 

“There’s just something about the song that gets me fired up,” Johnson said. “As soon as it ended, I knew I had to tell the Cuban outfielder to go back where he came from.”

Johnson is adamant that his experience “crushes” his ability to scream racist taunts at Fenway Park.

“I’m obviously a season ticket holder at Fenway and have a great time, especially when the beers get flowing,” Johnson said. “But it’s less fun sitting above the Green Monster when people can’t hear you yell ‘Build The Wall.’”

He went on to say that the large, red, art deco-style marquee at the entrance of Wrigley provided him the perfect angle to pour beers on Black and Hispanic fans entering the stadium.

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Johnson's 16-year-old son, Anthony, who joined his father during the road trip, was also ecstatic about his Wrigley Field experience. 

“This stadium brought out a new side of my dad,” he said, “I’ve always been proud of his racist tendencies. But tonight, he used slurs that I didn’t even know existed. It was surreal. I’m always happy to learn new things from him that I can take with me the rest of my life.”

Sources tell EOTB that Johnson is reportedly moving his family to Chicago so they could regularly spend quality time together at the stadium, including telling the “weird-eyed yellow people that they should go home and do some math.”

Mike’s wife, Diane, also commented about how the environment of the Wrigley Field helped in bringing the couple closer again. 

“We’ve both been so busy with our work and then there was that short stint in prison he [Mike] did, so it’s been a turbulent couple of years. We’d forgotten what it feels like to sit back and enjoy telling a professional athlete how his parents used to work for ours,” said Diane, “Our marriage has never been stronger.”

At press time, Johnson agreed that while he was pleased with his experience of being racist at the Wrigley, he didn’t have as much fun shouting homophobic slurs there.

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