Quarterback Has No Idea Entire Leg Snapped in Half

By Clay Beyersdorfer

SOUTHERN FALLS, IA—In a truly shocking display of the power of adrenaline and sheer obliviousness, local quarterback Travis Miller remained completely unaware that his leg had snapped clean in half during the fourth quarter of Friday night’s game against the Southern Falls Shredders.

“I thought I just rolled my ankle, you know?” said Miller, hopping on one foot with the dangling remains of his shattered tibia swaying disturbingly with each movement. “Felt a little off, but nothing too serious. Coach said to walk it off, so I’m doing that.”

Miller, a sophomore at Southern Falls College, was sacked by three defensive linemen in what onlookers described as “a tackle so brutal it should’ve come with a warning label.” 

Despite the visible, grotesque leg bending in two separate directions, Miller insisted on staying in the game, even going as far as trying to run a quarterback sneak. At the same time, his bone peeked through his sock like a yard-sale umbrella.

Teammates expressed a mix of concern and disbelief. 

“He kept yelling at the offensive line to get back in formation,” said wide receiver Kyle Jenkins. “Meanwhile, his leg was flopping around like a wet noodle. Honestly, it was hard to concentrate.”

Medical staff rushed onto the field after finally noticing Miller's casual limp, though they were met with immediate resistance. 

“It’s just a cramp, doc,” Miller assured them as the medic began dry-heaving into a towel. “A little Gatorade, and I’m good to go.”

Coach Daniels seemed oblivious, insisting that Miller “plays through the pain like a warrior.” “He’s our guy,” Daniels said, wiping tears from his eyes—not from emotion, but from seeing his quarterback's leg defying all known laws of physics.

Sources report that the opposing team's defensive end, who delivered the career-ending hit, commented, “I feel kinda bad, but I also can’t believe this dude hasn’t passed out yet.”

At press time, Miller was seen trying to "walk it off" in the parking lot, insisting he'd be ready for next week’s game even though his right leg now resembled a question mark.

End of the Bench will have more on this story after we check our leg.

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