NFL Redzone Viewers Only Watch for Scott Hanson's Screaming, Study Finds

By Clay Beyersdorfer

NEW YORK - A recent study conducted by the National Football League has found that the majority of viewers who tune into the league’s popular “NFL Redzone” channel do so solely for the purpose of hearing host Scott Hanson's enthusiastic screaming.

According to the study, 76% of Redzone viewers admitted that they only watch the channel for Hanson's energetic commentary, while the remaining 24% said they tune in for the actual slate of afternoon football games.

"We were shocked by these findings," said NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. "The data always told us Scott Hanson was popular, but we had no idea why. We just assumed it was because he’s so handsome and well-spoken."

Hanson, who has been the host of the show since its inception in 2006, was equally surprised by the results of the study. 

"I honestly don’t see what the big deal is," he said before dropping his voice a complete octave, foreshadowing a heartfelt moment. "I just really love football, you know?"

Following the unexpected results of the study, the NFL has decided to embrace Hanson's popularity, even considering rebranding Redzone as "Scott Hanson's Screams and Scores."

Not to be outdone, the NBA is reportedly now considering hiring Stephen A. Smith to host “CrunchTime,” its own version of Redzone, to fill that screaming void.

Will the move pay off? 

Only time will tell, ladies and gentlemen.

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