NBA In-Season Tournament Winners to Receive Pizza Party Instead of Cash

By Jason Lee

NEW YORK - Hoping to drum up more player excitement for the inaugural NBA In-Season Tournament, commissioner Adam Silver announced today that the winning team will now receive a pizza party instead of the original prize of $500,000 per person.

Sources tell End of the Bench that the NBA will feed the tournament winners with the Domino’s “Perfect Combo” deal, which includes 2 medium 1-topping pizzas, Parmesan Bread Bites, Cinnamon Bread Twists, and a 2-liter bottle of Coke, all for the low, low price of $19.99. 

Players would be required to pay out of pocket for any additional toppings, and are “encouraged to bring their own side dishes.”

“I’ve talked with a lot of owners around the league, and they all agree that players are more motivated by slices of pepperoni than by generational wealth,” said Silver. “Instead of winning more money than 99% of Americans make in a year, players want to experience the great taste of mozzarella cheese, tomato sauce, and garlic butter crust. And don’t get me started on those Cinnamon Bread Twists!”

The sentiment for pizza has resonated throughout the league’s front office.

“Some things are more important than money,” chimed in Mark Tatum, deputy commissioner of the NBA, which made $3 billion in profits last year.

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He went on to add that the annual pizza party “will become an integral part of our company culture”, and that this reward “embodies the work hard, play hard attitude of the NBA family”

If the In-Season Tournament generates enough revenue, it’s rumored that the NBA may also be able to expand the menu to provide Pizza Rolls, Pepperoni Lunchables, and Taco Bell’s Mexican Pizza.

Unconfirmed reports indicate that, in addition to pizza, Silver may also consider congratulatory plaques, $1 scratch-offs, handwritten notes of appreciation, stickers, and entering the winning players into a raffle for a $25 Subway gift card.

The winners will also be allowed to wear jeans on Fridays.

Following the news, LeBron James, Stephen Curry, Kawhi Leonard, Jayson Tatum, Giannis Antetokounmpo, Joel Embiid, Nikola Jokic, Luka Doncic, Anthony Edwards, Jimmy Butler, James Harden, Donovan Mitchell, Jaylen Brown, Trae Young, Damian Lillard, Anthony Davis, Victor Wembanyama, Kevin Durant, Devin Booker, Tyrese Haliburton, and Shai Gilgeous-Alexander all separately announced that they would be sitting out the remainder of the tournament.

Zion Williamson then announced his intention to “double down” on his efforts to win the whole thing.

End of the Bench will have more as this story develops.

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