Minor League Baseball Team Also Plays Baseball, Apparently?

By Devin Wallace

STILLWATER, OK - Fans in attendance at Stillwater Stadium were shocked to learn that the Stillwater Snakes, the area’s Double-A Major League Baseball affiliate, also played a full baseball game after their usual hijinks-filled show for the crowd.“We couldn’t believe our luck,” said Brett Matthews, who brought his three children after hearing about the team’s silly antics. “They had players stealing the balls from the umpire, mascots breakdancing at third base, and a whole foam-finger fight in the outfield. We were about to head home when the announcer said it was time to begin some kind of baseball game. Amazing!”The team, which proceeded to play a full nine innings of regulation sport involving another team, said it was good to balance putting on a great show for the fans and something called “baseball.”“You have to keep things entertaining,” said Marketing Director Tara Blount, while putting on her Tara the Trojan costume for the daily gladiator battle in left field. “So, we like to also throw in a little full game of baseball, and the players have a fun time with that too. It gives them something to do, in between the important things like coordinated TikTok dances and blindfolded at-bats.”Some fans, like Martin Banks, aren’t happy with the addition of actual baseball for these minor league teams.“Honestly, it’s distracting,” said Banks while waiting in line for the first base Slip N’ Slide. “We’re trying to watch the lawyer from Seinfeld pitch the 3rd inning and see the players build a human pyramid at home plate. I obviously didn’t come here to watch baseball. I knew what I wanted when I bought tickets for minor league baseball.”Sources indicate that players who are successful at the post-show baseball game thingy could even be promoted to another team that apparently only plays entire games of baseball on purpose.