McCovey Cove Sea Monster Puts Underwater Lair on the Market

SAN FRANCISCO - Bay area resident and longtime Giants fan Gerald Scoggins, known locally as the man-eating McCovey Cove Sea Monster, has officially put his underwater home on the market, ending a two-decade chapter as the next-door neighbor to Oracle Park.

The longtime “terror from the deep” posted a for-sale sign on his home late last week, telling neighbors he and his wife Mary expect to move before the end of the Giants’ current season.

“We came here thinking it would be just a pit stop. 20 years later, we’ve built a family and become a part of an amazing community. I can’t imagine doing it anywhere else,” Scoggins, who has twin 18-year-old spawn, said when reached for comment. “The late-night ballgames, the home run balls that have been fished out of my yard, the innocent kayakers I have eaten alive…the list of great memories goes on and on.”

Scoggins moved to the San Francisco area shortly after the Giants started playing at Oracle Park in 2000, after living off the coast of Alaska for a brief period.

“One day I just got tired of the cold water and decided to head south, and in the blink of an eye, two decades flew by,” he added. “I love this city and the people we devoured whole in it. San Francisco will always be our home.”

The tentacled sea terror told End of the Bench now that his children are out of the house, he and his wife will “travel for a bit,” before deciding on the next seaside city to terrorize.

“We’re going to head over to Tampa Bay for a bit, maybe even try to venture upriver to Pittsburgh,” Covey said. “I’d say Los Angeles, but the Angles are already enough of a disaster. We’re not going to add to that nightmare.”