Mascot Hospitalized After Mistaking THC Gummies for Bubblegum, Dances on Dugout for 3 Innings

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By Clay Beyersdorfer

ST. LOUIS - In an unexpected turn of events, Fredbird, the beloved mascot of the St. Louis Cardinals, was hospitalized last night after accidentally consuming THC gummies, which he mistook for his usual game-day bubblegum. 

The incident led to an unusual and extended dance performance atop the Cardinals’ dugout that lasted three straight innings. St. Louis would lose last night’s matchup to the New York Mets, 6-5. 

The incident began when Fredbird, known for his energetic antics and crowd-pleasing performances, including eating fan heads, found a package of gummies in the locker room.

Unaware of their potent contents, he consumed a handful, mistaking them for his typical sugar rush supplements. Sources tell End of the Bench the feathered entertainer initially felt an unprecedented boost in morale and creativity, which he believed would enhance his performance.

“He was feeling himself last night alright,” the source said. “He did the worm the entire length of the bullpen during pre-game warmups.”

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What followed, however, was an extraordinary display of enthusiasm as Fredbird danced non-stop from the fourth to the seventh inning. Spectators initially delighted in the mascot’s vigor, with cheers filling the stadium as Fredbird executed moves from salsa spins to moonwalking, occasionally pausing to lead a 'wave' across the stands.

"It was like watching a bird out of water, but in the best way possible," commented one amused fan. "He just kept going and going. I've never seen anything like it."

The dance marathon came to a halt when team officials noticed Fredbird’s unusually spirited routine and intervened. Upon learning of the mix-up, medical personnel were called to ensure his safety, leading to his hospitalization as a precautionary measure.

In a statement released this morning, the team confirmed that Fredbird is in stable condition and resting comfortably. 

"Fredbird is an integral part of our team spirit and game-day experience," the statement read. "We are working closely with all involved parties to ensure this type of mix-up does not happen again. We appreciate the community’s support and look forward to seeing Fredbird back in action soon."

Meanwhile, the Cardinals' management has promised to review their mascot’s snack protocols to avoid future confusion. Fredbird himself tweeted from his hospital bed: "Feeling good, can’t wait to be back flipping for you all. Remember, always check your gummies!"

The incident has sparked a flurry of social media support and memes, with fans rallying around Fredbird, proving that even in missteps, a mascot’s spirit can still lift the hearts of baseball fans everywhere.

End of the Bench will have more on this story as soon as we come down from this high off Mood gummies.

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