James Harden Demands Trade From Next Team That Trades for Him

By Devin Wallace

PHILADEPHIA - While the Philadelphia 76ers have not given in to James Harden’s most recent trade request, the disgruntled star already demanded a trade from whichever team is desperate enough to trade for him next, End of the Bench has learned.

Harden was skeptical about his future team’s future when asked for comment.

“The situation that hasn’t even occurred yet obviously isn’t working out,” said Harden, already planning to sell an apartment he doesn’t yet own in a city he hasn’t yet moved to. “Promises haven’t been kept, mostly because I haven’t spoken to my still-unknown next team, whoever it will be. But I know they can’t be trusted and I want out.”

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Teams across the league are reportedly working hard to try and fix their non-existent situation with Harden, stressing how important it is to keep superstars happy, even the ones who aren’t on your team yet.

“We’ve assured him he’ll be a big part of our offense (if we’re the team that acquires him),” said an anonymous General Manager. “We’ve promised him input on coaching (if he actually shows up), and we let him know we’ll work hard to find a trade partner now that he already said he wants out (which we expected).”

To make matters more complicated, Harden was pictured at a Houston strip club over the weekend holding a sign that said “The General Manager Who Trades For Me After The Next General Manager Who Trades For Me After The Next General Manager Who Trades For Me Is A Liar.” 

Sources also report the sign was written in a very small font.

End of the Bench will have more as this story develops.

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