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Highlights And Lowlights: Patrick Mahomes
Patty Ice
HIGHLIGHT: Is a 2-time MVP and 2-time Super Bowl champ, but has still never won any of Andy Reid’s hotdog-eating challenges.
LOWLIGHT: Will forever be known for getting selected in the 2017 NFL draft after Mitch Trubisky.
HIGHLIGHT: Has already racked up a record-setting 736 comparisons to Tom Brady.
LOWLIGHT: Still hasn’t been able to match Brady’s record for the number of retirements.
HIGHLIGHT: Signed a 10-year, $447 million contract with the Kansas City Chiefs in 2020.
LOWLIGHT: The last $100 million will be paid exclusively in NFL game balls.
HIGHLIGHT: Played both football and baseball in his sophomore year at Texas Tech University.
LOWLIGHT: Failed to make his college’s lacrosse, chess, swimming, track and field, ice hockey, basketball, gymnastics, and badminton teams.
HIGHLIGHT: Has a very high natural football IQ that allows him to differentiate between a spherical and an oval-shaped ball.
LOWLIGHT: Still relies on his teammates to catch the ball.
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HIGHLIGHT: Owns a stake in the soccer club Sporting Kansas City which effectively makes him the richest soccer dad ever.
LOWLIGHT: The only part of soccer he likes is when the ball goes out of bounds and the players have to throw in the ball with their hands.
HIGHLIGHT: Has had two games with the highest possible perfect passer rating of 158.3 but is expected to regress any moment now.
LOWLIGHT: Still hasn’t memorized the formula to calculate perfect passer rating.
HIGHLIGHT: Can make brilliant plays in unconventional situations, which really cuts out the work for NFL editors making his pregame highlight reels.
LOWLIGHT: Struggles to elude rushers and get out of the pocket during victory celebrations.
HIGHLIGHT: First quarterback to record 5000 passing yards, 1000 rushing yards, 950 race walking yards, 400 cartwheeling yards, and 200 frog jumping yards in a season.
LOWLIGHT: Has the lowest controversy per season rate for any star player in the NFL.
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