Georgia Gifts Mercedes-Benz Stadium to Taylor Swift

By Maddie Alzamora

ATLANTA - The Mercedes-Benz Stadium, home of the Atlanta Falcons, SEC Championship game, and numerous large events will reportedly be given to pop music star Taylor Swift, End of the Bench has learned.

The announcement came from the desk of Gov. Brian Kemp late Thursday evening, with his office stating that the move is a “win for Georgians everywhere.”

"Financially, it's a no-brainer. Georgia has no money for public education or healthcare," said Kemp while sitting on his dark throne made of skulls. "And it's not like the Falcons were bringing anything in."

In the past few months, Swift has played at several football stadiums nationwide, including the State Farm Stadium (Phoenix), Raymond James Stadium (Tampa), and soon-to-be the Mercedes-Benz Stadium in Atlanta.

The hope is that the Swift brand will encourage more turnout to future football games, which have an average turnout of 67,000 per home game, although sources tell EOTB the number is closer to 56,000. 

In comparison, Taylor Swift has sold out every single show on her current tour with numbers regularly surpassing 70,000.

Despite the announcement, not everybody who uses the stadium was thrilled with it just being given away.

“Whatever happened to enjoying the good old-fashioned sport of giving people concussions?” said Falcons head coach Arthur Smith. “Things were way simpler when I worked for the Redskins. Wait – you want me to call them what now?”

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However, the news hasn’t upset everyone. 

Second-year quarterback Desmond Ridder stated that he’s “excited” for the change, and even revealed that the team has gotten into disagreements over Swift’s best song in the locker room, usually settling on either Cruel Summer or Our Song.

“It just gets us pumped up, you know? It’s a great tradition to have, and I’m stoked to get to work in her stadium,” Riddler said.

Some fans have even started bejeweling previously purchased gear in support of the new stadium owner. 

A source who asked to remain anonymous said that he had one of Brett Favre’s jerseys from when he was on the team. but that he wanted to update it for modern times.

When asked if he was going to the upcoming concert, the same source exclaimed, “You think I could get tickets to that? My only hope is that she’ll do another show here now.”

It’s unclear what exactly Swift plans to do with her new stadium, as she isn’t primarily known for anything to do with sports other than every album being the equivalent of a music touchdown.

End of the Bench will have more as this story develops.

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