Absent Father Downgraded to Doubtful for Child's School Play

MILWAUKEE - Local resident and absent father Chet Webb (stuck at the office again) has been downgraded to doubtful for his daughter’s school play tonight, End of the Bench has learned.

Webb, an attorney for Smith, Smithton & Smithtonson, was previously listed as probable as of morning school drop off, even reportedly telling his daughter, (Sasha, 5) that he would “definitely be making it tonight, sweetheart!”

The play, an elementary rendition of the childhood classic “Peter Pan,” is the latest in a string of memorable family moments Webb has missed in recent weeks, including Sasha’s first basketball game, a birthday party for a neighbor, and the birth of his second child (Bryan) last month.

The continued absence of Webb has reportedly “ruffled some feathers” with his wife Sandra. 

“Things are not good right now, they’ve been on the rocks for years,” said an anonymous source who requested anonymity and wanted on record that they were “definitely not a neighbor.”

“He spends some awfully long nights in the city..." they added. 

With Webb out, look for either of his parents, Dave or Marcy, or even upstart Deborah, Sandra’s younger sister, to start in his place tonight until he can resume family action. 

End of the Bench will have more as this story develops.