Aaron Rodgers Uses Media Appearance to Warn Against Trusting Media

By Mark Roebuck

INDIANAPOLIS — Injured New York Jets quarterback and lightning rod for controversy Aaron Rodgers used his weekly appearance on ESPN’s Pat McAfee Show to urge viewers not to trust the mainstream media, sources have confirmed to End of the Bench.

“You can’t listen to the crap these corporations are shoveling down your throat,” said Rodgers, during the show which airs daily on ESPN, which is owned by ABC, which is owned by The Walt Disney Company. “That’s why it’s important to think for yourself, or better yet, listen to anti-authoritative broadcasters like you [McAfee] and Joe Rogan. You won’t catch Rogan cashing a corporate paycheck anytime soon, especially not from Spotify. Nope. And you want to know why? It’s because we all prioritize the truth above everything else, including our general likability.”

While many found the tirade to be contradictory, fans of Rodgers largely defended the appearance.

“It’s not that confusing, really,” said John Cross, a longtime Rodgers fan. “He is using his platform to expose the mainstream media for what it truly is, a sickening machine that does nothing but perpetuate the agendas of those involved with it. Sadly, there’s no better medium to get that important message across than the mainstream media. It’s a real pickle. On one hand, Aaron made some really good points about Pfizer vaccines and the comedians that poke fun at him being a pedophile, but on the other hand, I heard them all on the TV at an airport bar. So I’m not sure if I can trust him anymore, I’m afraid.”

The tirade inspired many long-time detractors to admit Rodgers may have had a point, if even for a few minutes.

“When that idiot and professional concussion-getter got on my TV and told me not to listen to my TV, I agreed with Aaron Rodgers for the first time in my life,” said Russ Brenner, a local sports fan who’s long been annoyed with the quarterback. “I get that he wants to be this edgy, deep thinker, but he doesn’t even make sense. This is like if he were on The Masked Singer and railed against “The gay agenda,” before launching into ‘It’s Raining Men’ dressed as a flamingo. I think he just needs to stick to football. Making sense seems to be his Achilles’ heel. One of them, at least.”

As of press time, Rodgers clarified his position that Jimmy Kimmel, vaccines, and the mainstream media were demons sent to destroy the earth and that Pat McAfee, the NFL, and State Farm Insurance were all pretty chill.

End of the Bench will have more on this story after we grab our pitchforks.

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