Aaron Rodgers Plans to Recover in Time to Watch NFL Playoffs From Home

By Devin Wallace

NEW YORK - After an innovative surgery on his torn Achilles tendon, Aaron Rodgers is targeting an improbable rehab that would allow him to return in time to watch the NFL Playoffs from home with the rest of the eliminated New York Jets, End of the Bench has learned.

The relatively new process is designed to have an athlete fully recovered in as little as four months from what is normally a season-ending injury, which would give Rodgers full mobility to navigate the treacherous path to the Super Bowl: a Wild Card weekend in Cancun, a divisional round spent on the Pat McAfee Show, and a conference championship that will surely run through the Kansas City Chiefs (specifically their owner’s luxury suite where Rodgers would watch the game).

“The most important thing is getting my body ready for the playoffs,” said Rodgers from inside a pitch-black room that was completely unrelated to the health of his torn Achilles. “We can’t waste this opportunity, not when it gives me the chance to hijack the headlines and make every moment about me. I don’t know how many years I have left to use an entire NFL franchise for my own benefit, so I have to make it count.”

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Jets teammates are confident Rodgers can return in time to attend their Super Bowl watch party, which was booked during halftime of their first game.

“We can’t win without A-Rod,” said cornerback Sauce Gardner. “He’s our best cornhole player, and there’s no way we can beat my neighbors Chuck and Kelly without him at full strength. If he's there, I know we can make a deep playoff run. The neighborhood cornhole playoffs, I mean. What other playoffs are there?”

Sources say Rodgers is spending most of his time now reviewing tape, specifically the film “Coronavirus Conspiracy.”

End of the Bench will have more as this story develops.

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