13 Things We Love About Sports

By End of the Bench Staff

1. I love sports because it is the perfect substitute for the love of a woman - Ryan David

2. I love sports because I can hate the player and the game! - Meg Reid

3. I love sports because, honestly, I just really love saying “balls” - Ryan David

4. I love watching sports because apparently, I have a pain kink - Doug Kolic

5. I love how sports allow me to wholeheartedly support rapists, wife beaters, and murderers without having any guilty conscience about it - Divyansh Kulshrestha

6. I love how sports allow me to shamelessly crush beers in a parking lot at 9 am on a Sunday. - Brisa Sylvestre

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7. I love how sports makes me believe the $120 cable bill each month is worth it. - Mike Range

8. I love how sports allow straight guys to watch other masculine heterosexual men slap each other’s butts in a totally non-sexual manner. - Mary McCartney

9. I love how sports unite me and my fellow Bostonians in hatred against a common enemy: The New York Yankees. - Mary McCartney

10. I love sports because it gives me yet another reason to hate the city of Philadelphia - Devin Wallace

11. I love sports because it brings people from all walks of life together to root for their team by calling their opponents motherfucking assholes. - Mike Range

12. I love how sports give men yet another chance to explain something to me that I already know - Lauren Grimaldi

13. I love how my sports gambling addiction earns me enough to pay for my alcoholism. - Maury Levine