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12 Important Golf Terms to Know Before You Play the Game
Know the game.
Caddie
A person bound by 1000-year-old satanic rituals to carry a golfer’s bag full of clubs.
Hole-In-One
The only thing your father has done in his life that he’s proud of.
Eagle
Common collective term for large birds of prey within the family Accipitridae.
Fairway
Stretch of shorter grass where you will generally spend 2-3 hours driving in circles trying to find the ball.
Hazard
Any part of the course that might make the game slightly more infuriating; including sand traps, water bodies, or the homeless man who runs out into the fairway to steal your ball.
Green
An area of finely trimmed grass where it is recommended that you lie down and take a nap.
Out of Bounds
The heavily wooded area or parking lot where you should run after missing an easy putt.
Double Bogey
An advanced, scarier, and more lethal version of the Boogeyman.
Waggle
A pre-shot routine where you can practice how to act embarrassed and come up with excuses once you mess up the shot.
Putter
A special golf club for players who like big putts and they cannot lie.
Ryder Cup
An international golf tournament that has become the preferred method for settling territorial disputes along the Mid-Atlantic Ridge.
Divot
An indentation of the fairway, rough or green left during the tantrum you throw after your awful stroke.
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