10 Good Faith Solutions for Baseball’s Ratings Crisis

By Noah Cohen-Greenberg and Sam Mermin

1. Bigger fields

1. Smaller strike zone

1. Automated strike zone

1. Automated strike zone managed by a humanoid robot standing behind the umpire

1. Pitchers chill out and stop throwing so hard

1. Bases on fire

1. Fireworks after every hit

1. Bases covered in vaseline

1. Robot announcers

1. Baby announcers

1. Baby robot announcers

1. Floor is lava

1. Celebrity guest throws out the first pitch of every at-bat

1. Each fielder holds an egg on a spoon

1. Any team can request to have Michael Jordan pinch-hit at any time

1. Sexy robot fans

1. Just play basketball

1. Even board games would be more entertaining

1. Parcheesi, even

1. Tophats